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Sunday, 1 March 2009

March Diary.

 

21 comments:

Del said...

I recently responded to an appeal by the Hadleigh Entertainments Committee who wanted to stage a fund raising extravaganza in aid of a local, long established, company that was going down the Swanee. They made Pogo Sticks, but the boss had to lay off two thirds of his workforce, namely his grandparents. I turned up at the Guildhall for the auditions and explained that I did impressions. The man in charge got quite excited and asked me to do one. After a few minutes he asked when I was going to start and I explained that I'd just done it. A caterpiller sitting on a lettuce leaf. He wasn't impressed, so I offered him Frank Sinatra, singing 'My Way.' His eyes lit up until I'd finished, when he remarked that Sinatra had an American accent. I explained that it was an impression of Sinatra doing an impression of me. Then he said that I couldn't even sing, which I agreed with, but at least Frank didn't lose a lot of sleep.Finally I offered to do my version of Harry James, playing the 'Flight of the Bumblebee,' at a 'Carnival in Venice,' and assured him that I had my own comb, if he had some paper. Well. I ask you, what do these people expect. Anyway, keeping my promise to help in any way possibe, I've booked the lovely Charlotte to drop by with a dust pan and brush to give the hall a thorough Spring clean. Del.








DOING AN IMPRESSION OF ME

Tommy said...

Del,you are the best story teller,poor Charlote she gets the blame for everything.

tags said...

Dear Diary,...

WHAT'S SHAKIN' ?

The BBC Reports that...

"An earthquake has shaken a coastal town in Kent - in nearly the same spot as a tremor two years ago."

Tommy said...

Dear diary,snowy weekend in Seattle,very cold,we do not want to go to far,staying in where it is toasty and warm.Roll on spring I have had enough of this winter how about you.

Ted baker said...

Hi there Del your impreeions of a caterpller on a lettuce leaf was out of this world im still laughing at it.And the rest very good Keep it coming its now 4am in the morning. cant sleep

tags said...

I remember a caterpiller sitting on a lettuce leaf smoking a big ol' hookah pipe in Lewis Carrol's story about Alice...
by any chance that caterpiller wasn't you was it Del mate???

Del said...

Hey, no not me, my man, I was the Clyde with the reefer and the shades! Del

Del said...

Another for JohnB, from Lake Wogbegon. Charles Dickens went into his local bar and ordered a martini. When it arrived he complained that it didn't have any garnish. "Sorry, Chas," said the barman," did you want an Olive or Twist?" Why do I keep getting this feeling that, one day, I'll board a flight to the Italian Riviera and it'll be highjacked to Minnesota? Del

Tommy said...

Dear Diary,can you believe it,Woke up to another heavy snow storm this morning,will someone tell the man upstairs it is the first day of Spring next week.Yuck I have had it.

georgek said...

Took elderly friends for a ride today,weather was absolutly wonderful.They are in their 80s,cannot drive but have their own car,left Haverhill around 1.30pm through to Sudbury then Manningtree,stopped at Mistly to look at the swans in the river,made our way home via Hadleigh,a lovely ride. No snow!!

tags said...

I know that area very well George.

tags said...

What's with the mispelling Del??
I'm talking about il Lago of course.

tags said...

Manningtree, I believe there is a female ghost that crosses that road there at night, possibly one of the witches they burned.
And I think there was a very good fish n' chip shop on the bend of the road on a hill just outside Mistley.

JohnB said...

Del do you know any good Minnessotan Oly jokes?

Del said...

JohnB, you'll have to wise me up on 'Oly.' The only jokes I know from that area are the ones I read off my emails from The Prairie Home Companion. One guy said that his sister had just parted from her boyfriend, who was a radiologist, because he had seen through her. Makes a fella want to kneel on the ground and lick somthing!! Del

tags said...

Here's one Del, Oli or Ole are Swedish Minnesotans. Sometimes known as Ole and Lena (his wife) or Ole and Sven jokes.

So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple hours Sven says, "This ain't no fun. How come the girls aren't friendly to me?"
"Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a potato in your swim trunks that would help."

---So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, "I tried what you told me with the potato, but it doesn't help."

"No, Sven --- you're supposed to put the potato in the front."

tags said...

Happy Mother's Day...to all you Mums back home and abroad.
It's not Mother's Day in the U.S. yet though.

Del said...

Just as well Ole and Sven live in Minnesota if they're going to pull stunts like that, at least they can afford to get smashed, unlike Sweden. When I got my bill for the drinks there I thought I'd bought a controlling interest in the bar. Del

Effo said...

Dear Diary
Arrived home safely this morning at 5 AM. Had to hire a big tractor with a plow and bucket to clear the drive way from the snow or should I say "Damian's Glacier" that was about 10 foot high and blocking the drive way. The glacier was compliments of the city snow plow which had piled it up there. I felt like phoning them and giving them a piece of my mind but Geo wouldnt let me.
Took about 8 hours to open the three months of mail and now have it sorted and ready to enter into my computer or file away, which ever.
A kind neighbor invited us over to dinner tonight which will be great not having to cook!
Well have to get on with it!
Effo

tags said...

Welcome home Eff,
sounds like that the same jerk of a city snowplough driver must have moved to you know where in Alaska,
next time you see him hanging around and bending over,... sneak up behind him with your snow shovel.

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